Baby Dreams

It is currently 1 am and I am up waiting for Kallison to go back to sleep, but as a nurse I know that since we just finished a Xopenex breathing treatment that is not going to happen because, it makes you jittery and your heart races and none of the side effects facilitate sleep. So I am writing a blog!!!
As first time parents you have this dream for months that you are going to have this blissful pregnancy, a life changing birth and a big, healthy baby at the end. And for some people this is how it ends up. The other dream you also have is that when this nice, healthy baby gets here, is that it has an immune system that no super bug can take down. This in fact for all parents is a delusion!!
When i got pregnant i thought in my pretty little head that: OH it was going to be wonderful, I was not sick yet and that meant I was not ever going to be, and I was healthy so the baby would be healthy and all the other wonderful thoughts newly pregnant women have. Reality Check: I threw up all the time, and I would soon find out that there was two babies and for 5 of the 9 months I was pregnant we would have to see one of the 3 doctors every other week until they got here.
And then there is the life changing birth: I thought I am going to carry these little beauties all the way to the end, they are going to be by a natural delivery without any drugs, they were going to be big and healthy and get to come home. (regardless of what my physicians said and tried to prep me for this is still the thoughts in my head). Reality check: I carried them for a good long time (36w3d), I took all the drugs they would give me, they were big (for twins) born via c-section, and then spent some time in NICU. But were all in all pretty healthy and did fairly well when we got them home and finally found a medication and formula that worked for their needs.
And that immune system is doing its job-UNTIL...cold and flu season...you can never really prepare yourself for that first cold. Or Bronchitis as it is at our house. You never really think that you are going to have to go to the doctors office once a week, or get specialized shots to boost immune systems, or have to give your baby breathing treatments in the middle of the night. Knowing the side effects of this medication are going to keep you up all night long! Regardless of what people tell you or how much you prepare yourself for that first cold, you are never prepared enough. And in the midst of this cold that they will have, you will loose all common sense, you will think irrational thoughts, you will become erratic, and do strange stuff. And really every parent does it, some just dont want to admit it. And it does not really matter how educated you are, how sure you are in your parenting skills, it will happen to you! But I have faith that I will and every new parent manages to survive all the wonders that are parenthood. And everyone you are around knows and understands that your erratic, irrational behavior is because you are a new parent and you just experienced your first night with a new baby that has a cold!! To all the seasoned parents out there, Thank you for helping us newbies survive...there is hope!!!!
So to all the dreamers out there-keep dreaming, its good for you, its healthy, its human nature, you are never going to be as prepared as you think you are, and you are never going to listen to anything anyone says or take any advice you have to experience it yourself. Because "your way is better than your friends grandma who has 18 kids and 60 grandkids who are all alive, and healthy." Remember-"she does not know what she is talking about!"
And if you are like me you go to the internet or that fabulous book that everyone says you should get because that is how they survived the first year- go with your instincts instead! The book is useless and was written by some one who raised their kids in a bubble.